Monday, March 28, 2005

Michael Jackson Is Black?? Yeah Right!

Image hosted by

In his latest interview Michael Jackson claims that he's the victim of a vast conspiracy. That he is just another in a long line of "black luminaries" to be falsely accused of a crime. When I heard that my first thought was...uh, what the hell is a "black luminary"?

Lucky for me he gave some examples of said "black luminaries": Nelson Mandela, Muhammad Ali, and Jack Johnson.

What? Is he serious? THE Michael Jackson...a man who has altered his appearance to look like a white woman...whose "children" look suspiciously white even under dark veils or masks...who brutally chopped off all the markedly African-American parts of his now trying to play the race card? Is putting himself in the same category of people like Nelson Mandela??

Well, I was so upset that I decided to write him a letter. Want to see it? It goes like this...

Dear Michael Jackson,

I saw your interview with Rev Jesse Jackson. Maybe nobody told you, or you just didn't notice somehow but you left your 'blackness' behind a long time ago. Now I realize that this may have happened by accident, so I'll tell you how to find it again. It's a real easy three-step process:

STEP 1: Look behind you. You will see a trail of body parts, make-up, and hair relaxer. Follow it and take care not to slip!

STEP 2: Go back through the 90's and 80's. If you see any llamas or monkeys don't be scared, just ignore them.

STEP 3: At the end of the trail is a cute little black boy. This is it. No, I don't mean a new 'sleepover friend', I'm talking about where you left your blackness, so try to focus!

Okay, now how will you know that you have the right boy? Well first off, his skin is a deep brown. His hair is curly and done in an afro style. His nose is about five times the size of your current one and is well attached to his face. Take note, and this is the most important part: no one would ever mistake him for a white lady.

If you ever want to use the race card successfully you need to get in touch with this little boy (no! not like that! focus!). Right now nobody is buying the "police are after me because I'm black" line're not really black anymore.

In fact, all that conspiracy talk just makes it seem like you're trying to change the subject from the whole sleeping with little boys thing.

A Fan

I also wrote an urgent letter to Jesse Jackson...

Dear Rev Jackson,

I have called 911. They are on their way over as you read this.

There are countless people out there who are truly being discriminated against. But instead you choose to focus on Michael Jackson's ridiculous claims just so you can get a little publicity.

Okay, so you're a publicity whore. I can understand that. Lots of people are.

But how could you not laugh in his face when he claimed to be like Mandela? The fact that you of all people were able to not only hold back, but go along with the whole crazy idea makes me think that you are seriously ill. Or a self-absorbed sell out. I can't tell for sure yet, but I called 911 just in case.

Kind Of A Minority

More Michael Jackson Posts:

God Punishes California

Damn! MJ Found Not Guilty

Meanwhile In MJ's Bed...

Don't Be Fooled

Michael Jackson's Face Pt 2

Michael Jackson's Face

Can't get enough? Here's more:

Listen To The Interview (It's faster if you just right-click and "save as".)

...Or Just Read The Transcript


Watch Michael Jackson's Lost Interview

Watch Michael Jackson's Lost Interview Episode Two


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home