Friday, October 28, 2005

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity...

Got this in a forward the other day...

20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want Fries with That.

4.Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In."

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch To Espresso.

6.In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling Diamonds."

7.Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy."

8.Don't use any punctuation

9.As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In The Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner. "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."


20. Get Into An Elevator And Don't Turn Around. Continue To Face The Other People As You Go To Your Floor.


Waaay back when I worked at a fast-food restaurant, there was actually a lady who would come in every once in a while and order a 'diet water'. Was she making sure we didn't make a mistake (like, I don't know, adding a piece of bacon to it or something) or just practicing one of the 20 Ways? I'll never know.

Even more funny is when someone would order a double cheeseburger meal, super size it, and then get...a diet soda. You wouldn't believe how common this is. I mean come on people! That diet soda doesn't cancel out the bazillion and a half calories you get from the meal. Just trust me on this one.

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